Afterdeath

Was it all just a dream?

If I have dedicated my life to true love, it is only because I was born into your great love story. Through you, I have learned the boundlessness of for better or for worse, the immeasurable generosity of for richer or poorer, the indelible beauty of til death do us part. And so on this, the anniversary of your passing, my heart aches desperately with all the hopelessness of unrequitable love.

Each and every day of the last 365 has ticked by like seconds on a clock when you have somewhere else to be. Never have I been so acutely aware of the passing of time. Does time pass where you are?

Under the full moon, the veil between us is thin tonight. I pour through our photographs and I can almost touch you, almost hold you in my arms, almost hear your voice. And yet, it feels like looking into the mirror and not recognizing myself. Who was this daughter? Was it real, our life together? If I could only step through the looking glass - but you are always just beyond my reach.

There was a time when you haunted my dreams every night, taking me back to that day again and again. What I wouldn't give to spend more time in that dream world with you, now. But take me back to those photo album memories this time. Oh, take me back to the start.


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